lizzardgirl: (darnedest)
This is certainly not without merit.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
DARCY: Elizabeth, I know that your family is barely genteel and your connections are none to speak of (we won't mention the matter of your uncle near Cheapside) and generally everyone you know (with the exception of your sister Jane, who is merely naive) is a complete buffoon - will you marry me?

ELIZABETH: Why, Mr Darcy, this is a bit awkward - I always promised myself I'd only marry for the deepest love, you see -

DARCY: There! You're doing it again! You're displaying your strong ties to the middle classes by entertaining this ridiculous notion of marrying for romantic love - I really don't know why it is, but whenever I see you or yours (though your behaviour, apart from these little incidents, has generally been above reproof) display these shocking examples of lower breeding, it makes me JUST. SO. HORNY.

ELIZABETH: I have no idea if I should be mad at you or feel flattered, but you really turn me on, and I have had a great longing to rise in society and take advantage of the social mobility of our time. After all, even though I display this shocking trait of middle class sensibilities (also seen in when I value learning above smooth behaviour - though I did fall for Wickham, so I guess I'm not entirely without hope) I *am* a gentleman's daughter and thus on the same tier of society as you, so marrying you would not be completely out of the question - though I can't see what's in it for you.

DARCY: Well apart from the fact that I'm horribly bored and having a middle-class wife (mind you, I'm not forgetting about your connections to the gentry, but you must admit that there are members of the *cough* professional classes in your family) might be fun, I've been mustering your hips with interest and it seems you are well-endowed to bring strong, healthy sons in the world.

ELIZABETH: My, you do know how to sweet-talk a woman. So, tell me again why I should marry you.

DARCY: Well, you see, since you are aspiring to higher society, let me lay out the advantages of a match in terms that the daughters of *that* class would understand - I'm terribly rich, see (well not terribly, but with an income of 10,000 pounds a year I'm well above the average for the gentry), I have a large, modern house and above that, I am known to be a fair and just landlord who might even treat his wife half-decently. Plus, I have no known sexually transmitted disease and most of my teeth. What say you?

ELIZABETH: *swoons* I'm all yours, love. I'm sorry, I mean, I'm all yours, future business partner.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
Remember Valentine's Day? Remember I hate it?
So I lost a bet to, mostly, myself about what sort of Valentine's story would first appear on the board and dared myself to write a V-Day ficlet. I wanted to write a funny piece about Darcy running amok. Turns out I'm emo inside, and so wrote a very depressive sob thing, inspired by a German poem, the translation of which I provided for you here.

The Fog )

Yes, I'm sad that way. The fog around here is my excuse.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
Remember Valentine's Day? Remember I hate it?
So I lost a bet to, mostly, myself about what sort of Valentine's story would first appear on the board and dared myself to write a V-Day ficlet. I wanted to write a funny piece about Darcy running amok. Turns out I'm emo inside, and so wrote a very depressive sob thing, inspired by a German poem, the translation of which I provided for you here.

The Fog )

Yes, I'm sad that way. The fog around here is my excuse.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
Remember Valentine's Day? Remember I hate it?
So I lost a bet to, mostly, myself about what sort of Valentine's story would first appear on the board and dared myself to write a V-Day ficlet. I wanted to write a funny piece about Darcy running amok. Turns out I'm emo inside, and so wrote a very depressive sob thing, inspired by a German poem, the translation of which I provided for you here.

The Fog )

Yes, I'm sad that way. The fog around here is my excuse.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
We spent a lot of time at the vet because it was so crowded, but it wasn't too bad; I chatted with the other pet owners in the waiting area.

I wanted to rant about The Second Sister. You probably know I don't have much love for this story, but this is different. It's not about the bad writing or pathetic plot, but about something that bugs me even more.

Read more... )
lizzardgirl: (Default)
We spent a lot of time at the vet because it was so crowded, but it wasn't too bad; I chatted with the other pet owners in the waiting area.

I wanted to rant about The Second Sister. You probably know I don't have much love for this story, but this is different. It's not about the bad writing or pathetic plot, but about something that bugs me even more.

Read more... )
lizzardgirl: (Default)
We spent a lot of time at the vet because it was so crowded, but it wasn't too bad; I chatted with the other pet owners in the waiting area.

I wanted to rant about The Second Sister. You probably know I don't have much love for this story, but this is different. It's not about the bad writing or pathetic plot, but about something that bugs me even more.

Read more... )
lizzardgirl: (Default)
The Most Noble of Men )

Warning: not edited yet, just what I wrote just now inmy free hours. Contains silliness.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
The Most Noble of Men )

Warning: not edited yet, just what I wrote just now inmy free hours. Contains silliness.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
The Most Noble of Men )

Warning: not edited yet, just what I wrote just now inmy free hours. Contains silliness.
lizzardgirl: (Default)
I heard a conversation between Jane and Elizabeth Bennet this morning when I was half-asleep. I woke and I thought about what I had heard, and I had this - thing - stuck in my system. No idea how it got there, but I had to write it down.



Insane - Thing - Here )
lizzardgirl: (Default)
I heard a conversation between Jane and Elizabeth Bennet this morning when I was half-asleep. I woke and I thought about what I had heard, and I had this - thing - stuck in my system. No idea how it got there, but I had to write it down.



Insane - Thing - Here )
lizzardgirl: (Default)
I heard a conversation between Jane and Elizabeth Bennet this morning when I was half-asleep. I woke and I thought about what I had heard, and I had this - thing - stuck in my system. No idea how it got there, but I had to write it down.



Insane - Thing - Here )
lizzardgirl: (Default)
I saw what you talked about last night and simply couldn't resist. It's not about Lefroy since I haven't seen him yet though. )

(Warning: Bad poetry behind the cut)

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