Still More Harry

[lizzardgirl]

Ministry Flattens Hogwarts Staff


In spite of all their efforts, the Hogwarts staff Quidditch team did not stand a chance against the Ministry of Magic Quidditch team in a charity match yesterday. With a 260-50 victory, the Ministry team clearly showed the Hogwarts team their place. Things went downhill for Hogwarts from the moment that the referees, Charlie Weasley (34), dragon-keeper and celebrity referee Gwenog Jones, did not allow the Hogwarts keeper Rubeus Hagrid to ride on a dragon. 'I can't help it, I'm too big for a broomstick,' Mr Hagrid explained, 'and Norberta really wouldn't have harmed anyone.' The referees however remained firm and Rubeus Hagrid had to be replaced by Filius Flitwick, who, as Hogwarts team captain McGonagall admitted, 'had not played in a Quidditch game before.' Flitwick clearly tried his best, but he simply was no match for the Ministry Chasers, lead by Minister Shacklebolt himself. Shacklebolt was supported by Angelina Johnson-Jordan (29) from the Department of Magical Games and Sports and Dean Thomas (27) from the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. Lee Jordan (29), spokeswizard for the Wizengamot, and Percy Weasley (31) from the Department for Inner-Ministerial Regulation and Control played Beaters and did not show any mercy towards Hogwarts beaters Horace Slughorn and Pomona Sprout, both of whom looked rather uncomfortable on their broomsticks. The Ministry team was completed by Ronald Weasley (27) as Keeper and Harry Potter (27) as Seeker, both from the Auror Office.
On the Hogwarts side, team captain and Headmistress Minerva McGonagall gave an impressive last show before her retirement. She played Chaser together with Professors Longbottom and Trelawney, both of whom admitted they 'had not really the hang for this thing,' even though Trelawney surprised with her accuracy in aiming. McGonagall, however, was the only of the Hogwarts side who managed to score goals against Ministry Keeper Weasley.
Whilst McGonagall was clearly the best player on the Hogwarts side, Seeker Rolanda Hooch tried her best, but stood no chance against Auror and Seeker Potter, who, as many experts state, 'could have played for England.'
'I've known Potter since his first Quidditch match,' Oliver Wood (31), Keeper with Puddlemere United said. 'And frankly, I have seen many performances of his that were more spectacular than this. I can't believe it took him 70 minutes to get to the Snitch.'
Harry Potter later told this reporter in private that he 'could have caught the Snitch in the first minute, but had decided to let the game continue because the spectators had paid for it.'
All proceeds from the game go towards St. Mungo's Hospital and will pay for the new Gilderoy-Lockhart-ward for Magical Memory loss.






Oh, I really need more HP-icons.